For many years people gave me a whole list of great advice on what I should be doing. From calorie counting to keto diets, to liposuction, to meditation and yoga and a million other things. Unfortunately, I was the queen of Self – sabotage for many years.
The reality us I knew that journaling, exercise, meditation and eating a healthy diet would help me but I just did not have the strength to do it…
At the time I used to think well a bar of chocolate gives me the comfort that I need – what’s the point in all the extra effort!
Can you relate?
So what do you do when you’re resisting what you know will help you feel better, and you’re on the fast track to self sabotage instead?
Our brain likes repetition and it feels safer when it is not pushed out of its comfort zone. And even though I do not like to admit it – sticking with the familiar just felt safer for many years. Even if I knew I was in this downward spiral and I could not find a way up – I just resisted and that is completely normal.
And then you go to Instagram and you see your feed full of influencers who are skinny and have a perfect life and eat all the junk food in the world. Of course, these influencers share these crazy fasts or detox drinks and you think if only I had their will power, I could have that life. And you feel sucked even deeper into a vortex of negativity.
So when you’re stuck in this place, the question becomes, what do I do next?
How do you get past the internal resistance and allow yourself to apply techniques that you need?
Tip #1: Do one thing that brings you peace immediately.
When you find yourself in a place of inner turmoil, stop, turn off all electronic devices, stop criticizing yourself and take a few deep breaths (I recommend 10 deep breaths). In through the nose out through the mouth. Then do something simple that brings you clarity and helps you connect with your body.
What to do? It’s up to you! It can be a quick walk or a dance break to your favourite song. It could be punching a pillow, screaming or playing with your dog for 5 minutes.
Decide what that simple, easy-to-do resetting action is for you.
Use it when your emotions get high and the resistance ramps up. Then, when you feel grounded you can decide how to progress from here.
Tip #2: Focus on the smallest doable action
There are so many self-help websites and books out there. All of them with their top 40 lists of how to get better.
Many times, when you are struggling each tip can feel like the load on your shoulders getting heavier.
Focus on just the smallest, easiest thing out of all the tips you heard.
Here’s why this step is so effective…
When you take one small step and follow through on it, your brain takes notice. This will help build trust with your brain and body and you will be able to start accessing your intuition and listening to your body more.
If you’re anything like me, this “small step” thing might not sound that exciting or magical. Maybe you feel like it should be a bigger and more dramatic leap. I get that!
But that “go big or go home” attitude won’t serve you when you’re going down an emotional spiral. It will only make you feel worse for not being able to climb a mountain in a single bound.
Focus on one step at a time, and follow through each time.
Tip #3: Ask yourself 3 simple questions.
Sometimes you might feel like you want to eat your weight in chocolate – I know I have been there! So after following tip #1
Put your hand on your heart. Take three more deep breaths. Then ask these 3 questions:
How is this going to serve me?
How am I feeling right now?
How do I want to feel?
Stop and check-in with yourself. Ask yourself these questions. Then do the smallest doable step to help you feel the way you want to.
If this helped you I have a set of craving cards you can buy with questions for different scenarios.
Tip #4: Journaling!
If you’re feeling grounded enough, this is the time where the journaling will support you. Get it all onto the page, so your thoughts don’t spend too much time circulating in your head. You can buy a self-help journal or just write on a blank page. I have done both and both have worked in different ways and have helped me stop resorting to self-sabotage and start loving myself the way I deserved.
Tip #5 Nourish yourself from a place of love.
When planning what you will be cooking all week – stop and ask yourself. If I loved myself how would I nourish myself today? Sometimes It could be a pizza other times it could be a salad or a bowl of soup and glass of wine. But remember always choosing to Love over Fear. Many times, we chose certain foods out of fear – fear of weight gain or bingeing and it is not what we need at the moment.
This is not a weight loss challenge! This is actually a 30-day self-study program that can help you improve your relationship with food, get rid of those uncontrollable cravings once and for all and get a step closer to food freedom forever.
I put all I had into this program it is a mix of science, personal experience and experience as a coach and I guarantee that it will get you one step closer to freedom.
Sometimes you might need to invest in a coach. Someone who can hold your hand, guide you and kick you in the butt if you need it and make sure you are not doing any form of self-sabotage. Book a free breakthrough call with me to help get you started.
Download my free ebook 7 simple hacks to overcome binge eating